You took too many pills!, you little Jane Austin Wanna-be!

Today the language used in my post will make you visit the 19th century. Due to my recent fascination to Pride and Prejudice, you will observe how pills - which I took in large quantities in order to restrain my terrible cold symptoms that have worsen because of the reapeareance of a bronchitis that I had the misfortune to have during the summer - may have affected my better judgment and probably the concentration on my writting as well.
Although we discussed about the recent homework given on thursday, we had plenty of time to expose ourselves to the group and rediscover our bodies - again. Having finished with the talking, it was time to prepare ourselves for acting a little part of our lives. Who we actually are at the moment. I intended to show that I have a terror towards the future, I can be really insecure most of the time and most of the time as well, try to hide it without spectacular results. I certainly cannot look forward to it, it achieves in its purpose to petrify me in place and erase my mind. Few years ago, I merely thought about what would be of me; now, it all arrives quick and determinant, trying to get to me, to inmerse me into the unknown...
And then I felt it, the urge to go away from myself, the repression of feelings that I tried really hard to lock into place, finally came into view for everyone else to see it. I had never done that before; when I play a character, I connect with it, try to feel what he might have been feeling, explore him, become him; but this time I was not playing someone else, I was playing as myself. I felt totally uncomfortable, mostly because of the blindness I know I usually have towards myself and which I try to avoid...
I already know that through representing someone else, I can discover who I am further. But I wonder, how can I pretend to play a character without erasing my memories for 2 hours and forgetting who I am, and how I came were I stand?